In Loco Parentis

First Thoughts on the Social Media Ban for Kids

Social media is bad news. It warps young minds, breeds addiction and destroys attention spans. I should know.

I have four children, and the older ones have devices. They don’t have full-on social media accounts because we don’t allow it. No Facebook. No Twitter. No TikTok. The only exception is Messenger for Kids, which I use to message them sometimes, and which is actually quite locked down in terms of parental oversight.

We set the boundaries. We made the call according to our judgment and what we think our kids need. That’s what parents do. It is, by default, our prerogative.

Am I a hypocrite? Yes. Do I care? No.

One of the first things you learn as a parent is that “do as I say, not as I do” is not a cop-out. It’s a moral responsibility. I use social media. I wish I didn’t. I’ve seen what it does to my own ability to focus, to think, even to just be bored. So why would I invite my kids into that world before they’re ready?

Parenting isn’t about perfect consistency. It’s about making prudential calls in an imperfect world. If that means I doomscroll on Twitter while telling my kids they can’t have TikTok, so be it. I’m the adult. They’re not. That’s the difference.

National MP Catherine Wedd’s Social Media Age-Appropriate Users Bill would, if implemented, make this even easier. Children under 16 would be banned outright from using social media. Platforms would be forced to verify users’ ages or face massive fines.

The Prime Minister is all in, no doubt hoping for a replay of the massively successful school cellphone ban. The Opposition Leader, chastened by how that fight went, is open to getting on board. The bill is almost certain to be a hit with the public.

I have reservations. I don’t want my kids on social media. But I don’t want the Crown muscling in on my role as the decider either.

Good intentions, as we know, pave some infamous roads. When the state purports to take on the burdens of the family, it ends up displacing it. Order imposed from above is no substitute for order cultivated within. And once you outsource moral formation to bureaucrats, don’t be surprised when you get rules without wisdom and enforcement without understanding.

It’s not that the Crown is evil. But it is clumsy. It doesn’t know your children. It can’t love them. It can’t weigh their quirks, their struggles, their readiness. When you have children, that’s your job. It doesn’t work any other way.

We’re told this bill is about safety. But it sets a precedent: that platforms should act as age police, hoarding personal documents and IDs to prove a user is old enough to post memes. That’s a data breach waiting to happen. And a function creep just begging to occur.

But even those practical concerns are beside the point.