The Liberal Legendarium

Another chapter added to the canon of official lore

Liberalism in New Zealand has over time gathered a canonical lore of things to be believed as articles of faith. These include:

• David Lange was forced to do Rogernomics by Roger Douglas and Richard Prebble.

• Helen Clark was forced to steal the foreshore and seabed from Māori by Don Brash’s Orewa speech.

• Jacinda Ardern was forced to resign as prime minister because of incel neckbeards on the Internet being more than she could manage.

There are many such tenets of our liberal political religion and cannot be overcome with evidence. Pointing out, for example, that Helen Clark vowed to take the foreshore and seabed months before the Orewa speech has no effect. Arguing that this happened before Don Brash even became leader of the National Party serves no purpose other than to call fury down upon your head.

To the liberal legendarium we can now enter another mythical event: that Golriz Ghahraman was forced into stealing thousands of dollars of designer clothes by the revolting and invincible hatred of the New Zealand public - especially non-liberal men.

This is not how the courts saw it, however.